The Limits of Pain
Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at 11:51pm
Many of us like to think of things lasting eternally, but it is one of the very rare universal principles of life that everything changes. From socks to soul mates; prices to personalities, it is inevitable that life itself will change around us even as you yourself are changing. We all make plans. Well if you ever want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans about life. Change. And so we look to those special moments in our lives:
"All of life can be broken down into moments of transition or moments of revelation...this has the feeling of both. There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope; the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us waiting in moments of transition to be born in moments of revelation . No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born, in pain." - J. Michael Straczynski
One thing that everyone carries with them at all times is pain. We tend to define it in one of two ways: physical or emotional. Pain in our legs from a long day of walking, running, working, etc. Pain in our head from the long hours we keep, the drugs we use, or from the lack of proper rest and care. Pain in our heart. The pain that hurts the most. The pain that, more than anything else, we fear. This fear is what forces most of us to find some way to escape reality. Escape the truth that we are alone, or that we are scared, or that we will have to risk being hurt in order to achieve that level of trust and happiness we so desire.
I have wanted so much to help others in my life. Help them to improve their lives. Help them to develop their own special talents in life. Help them to become something better than they are. Not for some expectation of recognition or reward. For no other reason than because that is one of my special talents: to serve. To inspire.
"To strive, to seek, to find...and not to yield." - Lord Alfred Tennyson.
My message is not for everyone, nor do I hope to change the world. Yet change the world I shall: one life at a time. For those people I cherish in my life. For those people I brush against for a precious moment as the streams of our lives touch briefly for an instant. I am here for those who seek it, and, just as importantly, for those who are willing to take upon the burden and responsibility associated with my message.
For each of us there is a limit to what we can bear. I continue to push the limits of my pain threshold through feats of physical endurance that I cannot even comprehend afterward. I will continue to do so both so that I may continue to inspire others to achieve greatness in their own lives and, for me personally to continue to better myself as I try to walk the Path I have chosen for my life. Harder for me has been trying to deal with the pain of the heart as others expose their wounded souls to me. It is a hard thing to listen to someone tell you of their innermost fears and pains without you yourself becoming submerged in the depths of their despair.
And so we reach our limits to what we can take in. Most of the time we absorb the pain of others without even realizing that our own emotional balance has been disturbed. Then later we are surprised, or worse, oblivious, when we lash out at our loved ones snapping at someone over an innocent comment or mistake. It is of paramount importance that we be content with ourselves and our inner state of being before attempting to take in the pain of others. I'm not talking about listening to someone vent as you nod and make sympathetic noises at all the right times. I am talking about opening your heart to absorb their pain and take the burden away from them in order to begin the healing process. Depending on the person and the severity of the damage this journey can take a very long time to traverse.
Thus I find myself needing to apologize to those I have not been able to help. Despite my efforts there are limits to what I can absorb without losing the empathy and focus required to be of any service. Know that I do not turn away from you out of judgment, disinterest or selfishness. I will continue to better myself so that I may in turn better serve others. The limits of pain are real for each of us, and they are something we all have to come to terms with each in our way.
I will say that the power to heal resides solely within yourself. You do not need a doctor, therapist, instructor or expert. They may act as conduit to guide you, but the choice forever lies within you. Make no mistake: the choice is simple. You either will, or you will not. Know that whatever decision you make is yours, and yours alone. Do not try and justify your actions as a victim. Do not try to escape from your responsibility. You are in control of your own life. Never delude yourself into thinking there is no choice. It will not be easy. Nothing worth having in life ever is. You can make the decision to change your life. Here. Now. You have the opportunity to choose: become something greater and nobler and more difficult than you have been before. It is in these moments of clarity in life that greatness is achieved. Live your life.
Many of us like to think of things lasting eternally, but it is one of the very rare universal principles of life that everything changes. From socks to soul mates; prices to personalities, it is inevitable that life itself will change around us even as you yourself are changing. We all make plans. Well if you ever want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans about life. Change. And so we look to those special moments in our lives:
"All of life can be broken down into moments of transition or moments of revelation...this has the feeling of both. There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope; the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us waiting in moments of transition to be born in moments of revelation . No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born, in pain." - J. Michael Straczynski
One thing that everyone carries with them at all times is pain. We tend to define it in one of two ways: physical or emotional. Pain in our legs from a long day of walking, running, working, etc. Pain in our head from the long hours we keep, the drugs we use, or from the lack of proper rest and care. Pain in our heart. The pain that hurts the most. The pain that, more than anything else, we fear. This fear is what forces most of us to find some way to escape reality. Escape the truth that we are alone, or that we are scared, or that we will have to risk being hurt in order to achieve that level of trust and happiness we so desire.
I have wanted so much to help others in my life. Help them to improve their lives. Help them to develop their own special talents in life. Help them to become something better than they are. Not for some expectation of recognition or reward. For no other reason than because that is one of my special talents: to serve. To inspire.
"To strive, to seek, to find...and not to yield." - Lord Alfred Tennyson.
My message is not for everyone, nor do I hope to change the world. Yet change the world I shall: one life at a time. For those people I cherish in my life. For those people I brush against for a precious moment as the streams of our lives touch briefly for an instant. I am here for those who seek it, and, just as importantly, for those who are willing to take upon the burden and responsibility associated with my message.
For each of us there is a limit to what we can bear. I continue to push the limits of my pain threshold through feats of physical endurance that I cannot even comprehend afterward. I will continue to do so both so that I may continue to inspire others to achieve greatness in their own lives and, for me personally to continue to better myself as I try to walk the Path I have chosen for my life. Harder for me has been trying to deal with the pain of the heart as others expose their wounded souls to me. It is a hard thing to listen to someone tell you of their innermost fears and pains without you yourself becoming submerged in the depths of their despair.
And so we reach our limits to what we can take in. Most of the time we absorb the pain of others without even realizing that our own emotional balance has been disturbed. Then later we are surprised, or worse, oblivious, when we lash out at our loved ones snapping at someone over an innocent comment or mistake. It is of paramount importance that we be content with ourselves and our inner state of being before attempting to take in the pain of others. I'm not talking about listening to someone vent as you nod and make sympathetic noises at all the right times. I am talking about opening your heart to absorb their pain and take the burden away from them in order to begin the healing process. Depending on the person and the severity of the damage this journey can take a very long time to traverse.
Thus I find myself needing to apologize to those I have not been able to help. Despite my efforts there are limits to what I can absorb without losing the empathy and focus required to be of any service. Know that I do not turn away from you out of judgment, disinterest or selfishness. I will continue to better myself so that I may in turn better serve others. The limits of pain are real for each of us, and they are something we all have to come to terms with each in our way.
I will say that the power to heal resides solely within yourself. You do not need a doctor, therapist, instructor or expert. They may act as conduit to guide you, but the choice forever lies within you. Make no mistake: the choice is simple. You either will, or you will not. Know that whatever decision you make is yours, and yours alone. Do not try and justify your actions as a victim. Do not try to escape from your responsibility. You are in control of your own life. Never delude yourself into thinking there is no choice. It will not be easy. Nothing worth having in life ever is. You can make the decision to change your life. Here. Now. You have the opportunity to choose: become something greater and nobler and more difficult than you have been before. It is in these moments of clarity in life that greatness is achieved. Live your life.
posted by Marcos Redondo - Running For Hope at
11:06 AM
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