Beneath the Mask

Monday, October 13, 2008 at 11:13pm

This was originally drafted in early September. I decided to finally finish it because I thought it would be thought provoking and because I like to write about a lot of different things. :P It basically reflects a boy's transformation as he searches for meaning and connection. It is fictional, by the way. ;)

We all wear our masks. In public and in private. Before strangers and before loved ones. To impress and to hide. Yet, as Tennessee Williams once said: "There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors." At some point we must drop the facade we dress up our lives to be and face who we truly are, and what we have become. Strip away the excuses and the escapism and take a look into that mirror. What is it you see...

I lie awake restless wondering how to tell her that I cannot be what she wants me to be in her life. Knowing how much it will hurt her I decide to tell her the truth and accept that she will never look at me the same.

Change...

A twist of chance puts her in my path as I try to mend a broken heart. All I manage to do is remind her of the pain she wants to bury beneath a bottle and a new lifestyle.

Change...

With thickened walls to block my heart I cast myself into a world of risk, adventure and reckless abandon. This care-free confidence puts everything else into a different light.

Change...

She likes me and I know exactly what to say to her. I spend the entire night making her laugh while I struggle with myself to let go of these antiquated restrictions.

Change...

A random encounter turns into flirtatious fun. The only way to live a good life is to act on your emotions.

Change...

I confidently walk up to them and get them talking about my shirt. Within twenty minutes I have them laughing at my jokes and leaving the guys they came with to hang out with me and my friends.

Change...

Late-night phone conversations and a trip to the beach leaves me looking for something more. The games no longer hold their appeal and old emotions begin to stir.

Change...

A first-time experience becomes a frequent occurrence and I set up shop in style. A pretty face and surprising conversations make me nervous for the first time in a long time.

Change...

I spend the night entertaining her with jokes, stories and a good time. An easy target with materialism written all over her I politely turn her down and get another earful for my honesty.

Change...

I cast off the worry and the need for companionship and just have fun. The world is my oyster.

Change...

I look to my left; I look to my right, and I sigh. This isn't who I really am.

Change...

I take a step back and try to remember another face that looked back at the reflection in the mirror. A naive boy who wanted nothing more than to find romance and his princess from a fairy tale.

...

Beneath the Mask... -- Marcos Redondo

Beneath the mask so false we lie,
To hide ourselves from piercing eye.
Yet hope remains that one day we,
Might drop the falsehood subtlety,
And show what waits beneath the mask.

'Til then our shadows dim the light,
Why should we take a chance that might,
Reveal the depths of horrid fright,
What lies beneath the mask.

We talk, we laugh, we pay our dues,
Not long now can our souls' abuse,
Take refuge from a poisoned tongue;
Corrupt now what innocence begun.
Now must you choose to flee or free,
What lies beneath the mask.